Dear Blue – Our Advice Column for Readers: Friend Fears, Distrustful Couples, and Doggy Loneliness


Dear readers,
DEAR BLUE (a pseudonym for our advice columnist) is an advice column to advise people on how to best deal with their concerns and issues. I try my best to ensure that you will make the best decisions to help you move forward in positive ways. I hope you will write to me, in confidence, seeking my guidance. Just a reminder: I will not disclose any information sent to me. What you write will always remain anonymous. I encourage you to be creative with your usernames and send feedback so that this column will be successful in helping those who seek advice. You can email me at [email protected]. Thanks!
I look forward to reading your letters.

Dear Blue,
I know I should be excited about graduating in a few weeks, but I’m secretly pretty scared. I’m jazzed to be going to college, but I’m afraid of leaving the friend group I’ve been with during all of high school. I haven’t shared any of this with my friends. I feel like they’re gonna make fun of me. Do you have any ideas to help?
Bugging out in Brewster

Dear Bugging Out,
I think once you get over the thought that you’re not losing your friends forever, you’ll be a lot better off. You won’t physically be able to talk to them, but you can text and FaceTime in college as much as you want. I’m almost positive all of your friends now are feeling the same way you are, because it’s stressful thinking about having to start all over and make friends from a huge number of potential new friends. The last time we had to do that was in 4th grade, when Garden Street and JFK collided! Talk to your friends about it just so you know you’re not alone in these emotions.
You’ll find other friends in college and form great bonds with them. You can meet friends in college through your classes, sports, clubs, food courts, parties and just hanging out in your dorm. It would actually be hard to avoid making great friends in college. You’ll still have your childhood best friends, but now you’re adding a whole new dimension to your life: college friends.
Have a great time in college,

Dear Blue,
I’m pretty sure one of my closest friends cheated with my girlfriend. I asked my girlfriend, and she denied it, but someone with good information told me she did. I know I should ask my friend himself, but I don’t want things to be messed up with him or my other friends, especially with prom coming up. What do you think I should do?
A Loyal Boyfriend

Dear Loyal,
Rumors like this circulate all the time – and for no apparent reason. You can’t be 100% sure that your buddy and your girlfriend did cheat. In order to figure it out though, I would confront your best friend about it or ask a mutual friend to talk to them prior. Chances are, they would like to “brag” to the mutual friend about it before wanting to tell you and ruin the friendship.
You could also let your best friend and your girlfriend know what you heard, and ask for the truth. Check for body language and tone, and don’t explode on them. If they answer you, whether it’s good news or bad news, treat them respectfully and calmly and analyze the situation like an adult. If your best friend did cheat with your girlfriend, you shouldn’t care if you mess up the friendship before prom. I think you wouldn’t want to spend an important memory-making occasion with people you can’t trust. I don’t think you could call them friends.
If they didn’t cheat, they’ll most likely respect you asking calmly instead of going off and spreading rumors about them. They’ll understand that these rumors can arise in high school, and they would do the same thing if in your shoes.
Here’s something to think about: my mom always told me never to take back a cheater, because it’s clear that they didn’t love you enough to stay faithful, and obviously they don’t care about your feelings enough. Same thing goes for your friend, because a bond between two best friends is just as sacred.
Good luck, I hope the truth comes out and it comes out on your side,

Dear Blue,
This might be a weird question, but I’d really like some advice.
I’m sort of a loner. I don’t really fit in with a group. Sometimes I’m okay about it, but other times I’m kinda lonely. I want a dog for a companion, but my mom says no because she thinks I am too irresponsible. What can I do to convince her that I am mature enough to have a dog?
Guy without a dog

Dear Guy,
Before you blame your mom and behave angrily, consider that you are asking to be responsible for a living thing. Your mom is right to question whether or not you are up for this responsibility. Even when you’d rather be doing something fun, that dog will still need to be fed, walked, played with and maybe bathed. Think about this, and ask yourself if you really are ready to handle it. If you are, then think about this…
I’m sure you’ve heard the expression, “Fake it ‘til you make it.” This is one of those times that the expression might actually work. If you start practicing the habits that your mom would label as mature, you might find that being mature is actually not that difficult; in fact, you might find that you actually see yourself growing from the experiences. Just try this out, and in short time, you’ll become the person your mom would entrust with a dog. Some things you can start practicing are:
Do the chores you’re supposed to do on a daily basis: keep your room clean, wash the dishes randomly, take out the trash, pick up after yourself, etc.
Finish all your homework on time, do it well and maintain your grades
Maybe ask if you can get a fish or hamster to begin with and prove how responsible you are with animals. Make sure you feed them everyday and clean their habitats, etc.
Respond reasonably in talks you have with your mom; don’t fly off the handle, or be disrespectful
Finally, if you can prove your maturity to your mom and you’re lucky enough to start looking for a new companion, adopt – don’t shop. Be sure to check out the multiple shelters in our area.
I hope you can do this; owning a dog is fulfilling and meaningful for both of you!

Queridos leyentes,
ESTIMADO BLUE es una columna de consejos para asesorar a las personas sobre cómo tratar mejor sus preocupaciones y problemas.​ Yo hago mi mejor esfuerzo para asegurarme que tu tomes la decicion correcta, ayudarte a avanzar de manera positiva. Yo espero que tu me escribas con confidencia, pidiendo mi ayuda. Un recordatorio, yo no voy a revelar ninguna información que me envies. Lo que tu escribas siempre va a ser anónimo. Te animo a que seas creativo con tus nombres de usuario y envíes comentarios para que esta columna sea exitosa para ayudar a quienes buscan consejos. Gracias! Espero sus cartas.

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