Hello! I’m Charlie, and I’m reviewing the Billboard Top 10 of the week. I’m not giving each of the rankings a number grade because this is my opinion. There is no true fact when it comes to music, and this is all subjective. Feel free to agree, disagree, or say whatever you want; it’s your opinion. Don’t listen to an idiot high schooler if you don’t want to. However, these are my thoughts and opinions for the week of April 7, 2024.

Again, prefacing, if I’ve reviewed the song before or if I just do not want to review a song from an artist based on their character or personality or just their time or how many songs from them are on the chart, I won’t. Also, choose to listen and review based on your own discretion. I suggest listening to the songs before reading my review. Again, it’s your life, so I’m not in control. So, let’s just start the review.

1) Like That (Future, Metro Boomin & Kendrick Lamar) – Other than one part of this song, it’s not mind-blowing. It’s an NFL highlight reel video beat with a future verse that does what it’s asked for. Perfect for working out in the gym, running, or just getting some exercise now that the sun is out—something to turn off your brain and enjoy. The elephant in the room when it comes to this song is the feature. Kendrick Lamar tears through the modern hip-hop industry, mainly going after J. Cole and Drake after their new song, First Person Shooter. He delivers an unbelievable verse, crowning himself the king of hip-hop, saying that J. Cole’s best work is light, and saying that he’s on his own level. Whether or not you agree with him, he delivered a great verse, and the polarity that it caused even within the past week is enough for me to be content with a song that’s #1.

2) Beautiful Things (Benson Boone) – And we come crashing down again. I don’t like this. This is a mediocre song made for weird couples you see on TikTok or Instagram, and you question why they are doing half the things they are doing. It’s got a recognizable hook, but the rest just puts me to sleep. No joke, I fell asleep to this song on a plane ride and was awoken from my 1-minute slumber by the chords on the chorus, which don’t even sound like chords. They sound awful, they sound weak, and this song is just a very weak song that I don’t enjoy.

3) Too Sweet (Hozier) – I do research on artists before I listen to them. I listen to a couple of their works, not judging their songs by only being in the moment when it comes down to it. In doing so, I learned a terrible thing. Hozier is 6’6, and the Knicks haven’t recruited him in Julius Randle’s absence. Atrocious. In all seriousness, the song sounds like his work. His recognizable voice cuts through an acoustic background very well. His work is yet again recognizable; it’s something you would hear at a coffee shop where it’s just a little overpriced. But I enjoyed it. It’s good, it’s nice, and the lyrics have a little substance. I’m good with this song.

4) Texas Hold ‘Em (Beyoncé) – You know this song. Everyone knows this song. You’ve heard this in nearly every possible place. Is it overplayed? Yes. Does it deserve to be overplayed? Maybe. Prefacing, I’m neither a Beyonce fan nor a country fan. I’m neutral to both, but I cannot for the life of me figure out why this song is played so much. It’s ok. Nothing more, nothing less. It’s an ok country song; it’s an ok Beyonce song; and it is #4. This isn’t her old work. This isn’t her revenge album on Jay-Z. This is just her experimenting with new genres at the end of her career. Not #4 worthy.

5) We Can’t Be Friends (Wait For Your Love) (Ariana Grande) – I hate this song. This song is the product of cheating. Don’t cheat on your SO, especially with live action SpongeBob. This song sucks!

6) Saturn (SZA) – “Saturn” is, yet again, exactly what a SZA song sounds like. Very melodic, very cool, and SZA has a great voice again. I’m very pleased by this song. It sounds very good on the ears, the mixing is good, and I have no complaints. It’s possibly one of the best songs I’ve reviewed.

7) Get it Sexx (Sexxy Red) – To be honest, I’m not sure what the appeal of Sexxy Red is. I just don’t find anything of worth in her music. It’s got a grading, annoying voice, her beats are atrocious, there’s nothing of worth in her lyrics, in her press interviews, in the way she talks—there is literally nothing that can give her any meaning or worth. I am confused as to why I’m even reviewing this at this point.

8) I Like The Way You Kiss Me (Artemas) – Two words: industry plant. Bad-song. Tik-Tok. Bo-ring. You get the picture. It sucks. I don’t even know why I bother at this point. I can’t give you a reason why this song is successful. I don’t even know who this person is or why they are making music. I tried to research them, but nothing helpful came up. Who do they know? Why do I do this? Who approved of them talking on this record instead of singing? This song raises more questions than answers, and I am fundamentally disappointed.

9) End of Beginning (Djo) – My feelings towards this song are mixed. I’m going to be honest. I was scrolling on my phone late at night one night, a little tired but not going to bed, and then this song came up with a little edit of Derrick Rose, and for a minute, my cold heart felt compassion. Then, this song came up again and again and again, and oh my god, it blew up on TikTok. Whatever compassion I felt for a man tearing his ACL was now gone. This song is too popular for no reason. For a hook. A HOOK. Please start listening to music the entire way through. I guarantee you, half of these people only know the hook.

10) Redrum (21 Savage) – This song is… It’s mediocre. I don’t mind it, but I’m not actively listening to it. Whether or not I’m 21 Savage’s main audience is one thing, but you can make a good song from anything, and a bad song is pretty easy to make if you’re a toddler. If you’re acclaimed as a top 10 rapper and all you have made is mediocre upon mediocre snooze-fest where you sound half asleep, I’m not going to discount you. His style hasn’t changed since the mid-2010s. And this is at the top of whatever at this point. I don’t even know what to say.

CHARLIE’S PICKS OF THE MONTH

I Want You (Marvin Gaye) – Whether or not Marvin Gaye has the most suspect or confused song titles of all time (“Let’s Get It On,” “What’s Going On?”), he makes a masterful piece of art. The drumline is subtle, the vocals are great, this is just proving that he is one of the most criminally underrated artist of the late 1900s.

When Doves Cry (Prince) – Whether or not these songs are subliminal messages isn’t important; Prince was ultimately making music much more experimental for his time and knew exactly what he was doing on this track. Good for him.

YAH (Kendrick Lamar) – Very relaxed, laid back, yet deep. Good song. All I need to say.

Clint Eastwood (Gorillaz) – It sounds like it was made on a cheap 90’s computer with its instrumentals, but it adds to the charm. It’s very early 2000s, and I love it.