Looking Onward and Accepting Nervousness – A Senior Year Series III of IV


Author Christiana, up at bat for her final season, chooses to swing for the fences.

Christiana Restucci, Contributing Writer

As the universe continues to throw curveballs my way, that switch in my mind has flipped– the one labeled “Fear of the Future” off, and I have never been more excited to go to college than I am right now. Something has been holding me back from my excitement, and I wondered when happiness would hit me. Well, it has hit me full force, and I cannot wait to start the next four years of my life.
I’ve spent my entire life in Brewster, as have many of you. Eighteen years here, and suddenly, it’s all going to change. I’m really excited about the change, though. The ability to wipe the slate clean and start anew is something that doesn’t occur often, so I’m trying to be as enthusiastic as possible about college!
Don’t get me wrong, I am still beyond emotional about leaving my home, the place I’ve been my entire life. I am not extremely fond of change, and once I get used to something, it’s hard for me to accept change with open arms (especially a change as big as going away to college). My biggest advice is to focus on the things that won’t change. For me, these are the small things such as my music or my clothes. Little as they might be, these are things I will take with me to college, so I’m trying to calm myself down by remembering what will stay the same.
But of course, how can you not think about the things that will change when there are so many things that will shift? I’ll no longer be living with my family or my cats, my friends and I will be scattered, I’ll be adjusting to a new environment, and adjusting to living on my own. And trust me, I’m still nervous. As excited as I feel, the nerves creep in, try as I might to block them out.
And that’s okay. To be nervous is a natural feeling. To want to hold on to everything you know is only natural. It’s important to find the balance between living in the moment, excitement about the future, and holding onto the past.
For now, at least, I’ve got a lot going on right now. Softball season has just begun, and my mind is all over the place with sports, school, not to mention my social life. I’m honestly too busy to focus on my future, which has allowed me to feel more of the excitement about college rather than the nervousness. I just haven’t had the time to focus on the nerves, which is a blessing.
I know the nerves will sink in. They hit me every now and then, and they will continue to wash over me. I’m just, well, excited to be excited about my future.
So, while the path behind me was dark and winding, the path in front of me is a yellow brick road, and I cannot wait to start walking down it and into my future.