Dear Michelle…

I can’t stop putting my money into sports bets and parlays. What should I do?

Thank you for the question! I understand that sports betting is a real problem in high school, so you’re not alone. If you start betting, you run the risk of getting into a rabbit’s hole. You put money down (that you may or may not actually have) with hopes that you’ll win, and regardless of the outcome, you’ll want to bet more. Gambling can make you feel like you’re in a hole that you can’t escape. However, the misconception is that you have no control over your situation, when, in reality, you do. The first step is realizing that you’re not alone and you have the ability to stop. I advise anyone struggling with gambling to talk to a trusted person and be open about what you’re going through. They can help you find resources and strategies to combat gambling. A specific resource you can use is called National Gambling Support Network, ready to listen 24/7. Another method is replacing gambling with a safe hobby like journaling, sports, going to the gym, or listening to podcasts. It all starts with making the first move and believing in yourself. You’ve got this! PS: I believe in you, too!

How can I get better friends that are positive people?

Great question! It’s really important to have positive influences in your life. Surrounding yourself with positive people makes such a difference in how you will view the world as well as feel in life. You’re going to want to interact with a lot of people, getting to know them. I found a great community of runners that were so encouraging and motivating, and I will always advocate for that, so consider joining cross country and track. When you do activities that you enjoy, you’ll find others with those same interests and enthusiasm and you’ll connect that way. You can also find new positive people by stepping out of your comfort zone. If you are yourself and let your positive attitude shine, you’ll attract positive people toward you. You can always be positive to your friends and try to help them change their negative thinking to positive thinking and actions, but if their negativity continues and it’s affecting your well-being, it could be best to separate from them for the time being. Setting boundaries is not a bad thing. You still care about them but you shouldn’t feel worn down constantly because of a friendship. I hope that your friendships encourage you and you find positive influences that push you to grow and feel better about yourself! Thanks for the question!

Ignoring your personal favorite, what is objectively the best music and dance genre worldwide?

Country! Nah, just kidding. Personally, I love Christian music and listen to it daily because I love the way it encourages me. I know many people love the pop genre. When you think about songs that you dance to, they’re mostly pop. Anything from the 80s, early 2000s, and some current pop music hypes people up listening to it nostalgically or connecting with others because of its popularity. I think hip-hop, ballet, and lyrical dance is impressive but it depends on the vibe. Hip-hop is socially engaging while lyrical is emotionally engaging. My favorite type of dance is when you get excited and you dance like you don’t care what others think.

What’s the best and worst part of senior year?

Thinking about it now, I can’t say there is one particular best and one particular worst part of senior year. But, there are some stressful and enjoyable parts of senior year I can talk about.

Something that was stressful was trying to find out what I wanted to do after high school. For me, this involved college planning and college applications. It was sometimes difficult to manage my school work, daily life, and doing college applications which makes senior year particularly difficult. However, it’s not the end of the world and I started viewing it as an opportunity to become a better writer, and I did learn more about myself through this process. To help manage this stressful time, I suggest planning ahead and spacing your time out. Starting this summer (if you’re a junior), start thinking about what you want to do and when applications do come, give yourself plenty of time to think and write. Utilize weekends and breaks to get this work done.

Besides my classes, one thing I really liked this year was the freedom. Not only in school but in general. I liked that I had more time to do what I wanted and go to more school and sports events. This and making new and closer relationships with others has also been something I’ve had fun doing.

Ultimately, don’t be afraid of senior year. It’s going to be so much fun and you’ve made it, so enjoy every minute of it!

Do you think that the freshman experience is similar or different? How so?

Thanks! I think in a way, college freshmans’ experiences are similar to one another because we’re all going through a significant change in our lives, trying to become more independent, make friends, and grow up. On the other hand, I think it differs depending on your major and what you are looking to get out of college. Some majors will have more work than others, some people will go out or stay in more than others, etc. But in general, I think many of us are in the same boat with our unique differences and passions which is something that makes life so interesting.. I’m looking forward to it!

What is your advice to people struggling to fit in?

Thank you for the question! My advice to people struggling to fit in is that it’s not necessarily a bad thing not to fit in. But if you’re looking to connect better with people, do events in the community, be yourself, and be open. Being yourself is the best thing you can do to find genuine friends with similar interests to yours and will help you find your place. Be patient, confident, respectful, and don’t give up. You’ll find your place(s).

How should I start getting ready for college?

Thank you for the question! Prepping for college can start really as soon as or before you enter high school but you still have plenty of time if you’re entering senior year to start thinking about where you want to go. As soon as possible, join extracurriculars that you are interested in. Colleges like to see that you are well-rounded and involved and review your application to see if you would be a good fit for their campus. You can get involved in honor societies, sports, band, work, etc.. Along with this, make sure to try your best academically and take challenging courses.

Typically your junior year you will need to take the SAT or ACT as colleges may require these scores. Sign up early so you can take it here in Brewster. Allow yourself time to study and prepare (there are many practices on Bluebook and other platforms). Make studying part of your daily routine a little bit a week, perhaps taking practice exams over the weekend.

I suggest asking your teachers if they can write college recommendations for you in the spring of junior year as well as the summer and early fall of your senior year. Generally, you need two teacher recommendations and then one from your guidance counselor.

Starting the summer of your senior year (or earlier), brainstorm college essay ideas and write drafts. Tell your story – it doesn’t need to be extravagant, just something genuine.

You can also start filling out Common App with general info. Begin researching colleges whenever you feel ready, looking for those that align with your goals. Don’t be afraid to apply to reaches!! It might sound vague, but I mean it when I say be open to different things.

I suggest looking up “Colleges with great financial aid” and researching those colleges. It’s up to you but if you apply to a bunch of schools, the chances of finding a great school should increase.

For supplemental essays required by colleges, I suggest reading tips from “College Essay Advisors and College Essay Guy” for your specific schools.

As you go through this process, give yourself time. Take a breather, explore, wonder, and write. And as always, we have faculty and guidance that are willing to help you in this process.

It can be difficult a lot of the time but you’ve worked so hard, and it will pay off in the end!

How do I choose which school I want to go to after I know where I’m accepted?

Thank you for the question! The relief after you’ve gotten accepted to colleges feels so nice. But then, you still need to make a very important decision of where to go and it can be hard (speaking from experience)!

I’m a strong believer in trying to be debt-free by the time you graduate college or close to it. That’s why the financial aspect is so important. Weighing in this aspect, your list naturally gets smaller. However, if you really love a school that didn’t give you the offer you were hoping for, it’s not the end! You can email the college and appeal for more aid.

I also believe it’s really helpful if you visit the schools you’re accepted to. This can help you decide if you see yourself living here for four years.

It’s also really important to make sure your school has the major you’re interested in. Read up on their programs and how they prepare students before graduating.

It’s really helpful to find people you can talk to who are genuinely invested in your success and will provide you with feedback.

In the end, you can make whatever college you choose one of the best decisions of your life if you take advantage of the opportunities presented to you. And you can always transfer after your first year if you want.

Pro and con charts may be helpful. Take the time to ponder your decisions. If you feel at peace with a particular college, that can be an indicator that that’s where you should go.

Why are you a redhead?

Thank you for the question! It’s pretty cool! The gene for red hair is called MC1R and mutations in this gene can cause more production of pheomelanin, the red pigment you see. Red hair is recessive meaning you need two copies of the gene for it to be expressed, one from each parent. I got a better understanding of genetics in AP Bio (highly recommend the course). So I can thank my parents for the red!

What should I do if one of my best friends is ignoring me?

Thank you for the question! I’m so sorry this is happening to you and I hope it’s gotten better since publishing. First, you asking shows that you care about them and it’s important to realize friendships are not always easy. Your friend may be feeling overwhelmed right now and going through their own challenges so maybe they don’t mean to be ignoring or being passive to you. Sometimes people just want space. They could also feel hurt about something they’ve heard or something you said/did when you didn’t mean it. I suggest checking on them and asking them if you did something to hurt them. It’s a genuine question that will show you care about them and you’re looking to make it right. If something you did is bothering your friend, acknowledge their feelings and talk about it. I hope everything clears up!

I had a lot of trouble trying to make friends throughout high school, and now that I’m going away to college and going to be around a bunch of strangers, I’m afraid that I won’t be able to make any. Do you have any advice on making friends?

Hi! I’m low-key an introvert too so I can understand where you’re coming from. The good thing about college is everybody starts as a stranger to everyone else – so everybody’s on the same page. Don’t worry – you will find your niche! Join clubs that you are interested in and you’ll find people with the same interests as you. On your first few days, get out and meet people. I’m pretty sure if someone came up to you with genuine interest in yourself, you’d be glad to talk to them, so you can be that person! Not everybody you meet you’re going to mesh with, but you’ll find friends I’m sure! Try making friends with your roommate and then going out with them to meet new people. Everybody’s going to be looking for friends, so I think it should be easier. Put yourself out there because nobody knows you yet and there’s nothing to lose being yourself. Life is too short to be worrying about what others think.

How do I make new friends?

Hi, thanks for the question! Check out what I said in the question above! Some points still apply regardless of if you’re not going to college or not :). Join different clubs and try to connect with people there. I’ve found that joining sports has also been a great way for me to meet people and make friends (cross country and track plug). Also, talk to lots of people in your classes, do little nice things for people like asking how they’re doing, and you might make a new friend. Sometimes friends come naturally, other times you need to make an effort and put yourself out there. Whatever you do, be yourself. You’ll naturally change how you act depending on who you’re hanging out with but still be yourself. I wish you the best!

Hello Michelle! What is a way to better stay on task and manage time with homework or projects or school work. Like ways to help you not forget to do the work or be more encouraged to do the work other than good grades. Don’t want to be stressing over what to do constantly while juggling many other things.

Hello! A helpful way to stay on task is to move your phone out of site while doing your work. When you have free time, try to work a little bit on school work or projects so it doesn’t pile up as much. I use the Reminders app and Google Classroom on my phone to keep track of the work I do. I also know there are apps like Google Keep and Homework Tracker that you can download on your Chromebook to keep track of your assignments. Prioritize assignments based on what’s most important, the due dates and what you have the energy to work on at the moment. For motivation, other than getting good grades, I like to view it as putting in your best effort into it. If you view it as this, it’s less about getting good grades and more about self-growth. See it as an opportunity. Another way I like to think about it is as a way to learn and hopefully learning something new or acquiring new skills that will help me in some way. I found I stress less when I realize perfection is not realistic or necessary to succeed. Sometimes you’re going to need to miss out on some things for other things and it’s finding the balance of what you feel is the best.

Special thanks to Mr. LoAlbo for the opportunity to do this column and supporting me through every edition. Also, I want to thank my family for their support and everyone else who submitted questions or listened to what I had to say—I couldn’t have done it without you! I’ll leave you with my last piece of advice: always try your best and be kind to everyone.