ASK SUZANNE is an advice column to advise people as to how to best deal with their concerns and issues. I try my best to ensure that you will make the best decisions to help you move forward in positive ways. I hope you will write to me, in confidence, seeking my guidance. Just a reminder, I will not disclose any information sent to me. What you write will always remain anonymous. I encourage you to be creative with your usernames and send feedback so that this column will be successful in helping those who seek advice. Thanks! I look forward to reading your letters.
I really like this girl who sits in front of me in my class. But, I don’t think that she notices me, and she seems really focused on her schoolwork. My friends have told me that she is very reserved, and that it’s uncomfortable for her to talk to guys. I want to talk to her and tell her I like her, but I am afraid she won’t like me, plus I am really shy, too. PLEASE HELP!!
Just Do It! Shyness doesn’t have to be your reality — especially when it comes to going out there and doing what you need to do to in order to get what you want! Take a deep breath, believe in yourself and show your crush what a great guy you are. The first thing you need to do is get your crush alone, either in person or call her on the phone. Just make sure no one else is around – you’ll likely feel more nervous and shy if there are other people watching your every move. Once you have some privacy, start talking – about stuff. Anything, really. If you’re in the same class, talk about your homework. If you have someone or something else in common – talk about it. You could also try passing notes. But remember, communication is key. It’s all about how you convey your message and the approach you take. Using the right words can and will make it easier to ask someone out.
My friend asks to borrow $5 every time I see him. I feel mean saying no to him, but he already owes me $20 from before! What should I do?
Saying no to your friend doesn’t make you a mean person or a bad friend – especially because you have already loaned him money in the past. He should know that all he needs to do is show the responsibility of paying you back. Maybe then you’d trust him enough to loan him money when he really needs it.
Your main focus is probably on getting your money back at this point. Next time your friend asks to borrow $5, say something like, “I would, but you already owe me $20.” Maybe this way he’ll get the hint that he has to pay you back before he’ll see any more cash. Sometimes, saying no to a friend is like saying yes to yourself. If you’re being asked to do something that makes you feel totally uncomfortable or that you know isn’t right, saying no is the way to go. Besides, you don’t have to be the bank to be a good friend. Instead, be a good listener, be kind and help your friends out in other ways besides giving them your allowance!
What up Suzanne,
My friends and I recently started a rock band in my garage; I know major high school cliche. So, I’ve been feeling pretty rebellious lately. It started with me doing small things like taking change out of my mom’s purse, and filling my sister’s pillow with grass clippings. But, a few days ago I felt I needed to take it up a notch and do something absolutely CRAZY!!!!!! So I took my mom’s car keys while she was sleeping and drove myself to a piercing store that one of my bandmates told me about. It looked pretty shady, but I went in anyway. So, to make a long story short, I got nose and belly button rings. I thought it looked awesome! But, my mom thought otherwise. She totally freaked out and wants me to have them removed. I’m not going to get them removed. How do I get my mom off my back and get her to see my view of this?
Dear Ballin 292,
Sometimes it’s hard to listen to our parents, especially when we are set on getting things done our way. But you have to remember, even when it seems that your parents are about ruining your life, they are really helping you to succeed in the future. Piercing your body is a serious topic that is often overlooked by people. When we pierce our ears, noses, or belly buttons, they stay there for a long time. So, let me pose this scenario for you to think about. In 30 years, you are working at a prestigious office and are trying to get a client to sign with the company. They see your nose ring and might think that you are probably not serious about your job. It is okay to feel rebellious in high school. I think that everyone has that feeling once in awhile, but you have to know the consequences of your actions.
I know that you will make the right decision. Just remember to hear what your mom has to say about getting yourself pierced. She is probably really angry because you made an important decision without her that will affect you for a long time. And when you are talking to her, don’t just listen with your ears; truly try to understand what she is trying to say to you.