Who Needs a License Anyway?

December 2, 2011
Filed under Opinion

The Driver’s License. It’s a simple card that allows you to drive under the DMV’s strict rules; it’s a basic card that allows the freedom everyone desires from parental guidance; it’s a tiny, little card that gives social status in the high school teenager’s eyes.  But what do you have to do in order to obtain this Driver’s License? Pass the DMV’s road test. And this “road test” will be the hardest ordeal you will face in your whole life.

Now, the test seems easy enough, it appears simple and very minor – drive down a couple roads without going over the speed limit, make a couple of turns, do the additional parking, and drive back. Pretty simple, right? Think again. The DMV created a corrupt system and seeks out victims they can easily fail, like sixteen and seventeen year old teens.

First of all, the DMV tester will only be in the car for a maximum of five minutes. The parent or guardian that has been driving with these permitted drivers for the required excruciating six months would know if they’re a good driver and ready to be on the road by themselves. Parents understand their kid’s decisions as a driver not just because they have been driving with them for six months but also because of their life-long relationship. If I were stopped at a yield sign and gave up the right-of-way to someone turning down the same road and then let another person at the stop sign go first, my mom would know that I did it out of common courtesy, not because I didn’t know the rules of the road. The tester doesn’t consider politeness when deciphering the driver’s decision-making and so they mark the driver’s manners against them, furthermore setting the driver up for failure.

Not to mention, during these five minutes the kids trying to pass the test are, most of the time, so nervous they are shaking. Nerves hinder the test taker’s ability to observe their surroundings and react to them. Perhaps Bobby didn’t blow through that stop sign because he wanted to but simply because his nerves were going crazy and he kept glancing at the speedometer to make sure he wasn’t going over 25 mph down the hill.  Test takers tend to stiffen up once there is someone sitting next to them scrutinizing their every move and so maybe Bobby is not entirely to blame for failing to look over his right shoulder while three-point-turning, especially when the tester is sitting in the same direction. This leads me to my next point: Bobby is probably a smart and safe driver on the streets; it’s just the unfair examination that restricts him from free reign on the road.

I have many friends that have failed their driver’s test and according to them, parallel parking was the main cause of their failure. New York State requires every driver to master this skill, when in reality you are rarely going to need to parallel park unless you live in a bustling city. The DMV upholds what I like to call “The Golden Rule of Parallel Parking”: Once you hit the curb, you’re done. They automatically fail you. Even the slightest brush of tire to cement will send the tester into frenzy and they will fail you so fast you’ll never want to drive again… even though you never even really had a chance to show off your driving skill. Is this really fair? Maybe Bobby drove a perfectly controlled route but his tire brushed against the curb so now the DMV considers him a terrible driver and therefore his privilege of earning a license at this time is revoked.

Interestingly enough, hitting the curb doesn’t mark off enough points for someone to fail; failure results from at least a thirty-five point reduction and parallel parking is only worth fifteen points. The tester is aware of this and so, they mark off every single little thing once the driver hits the curb just to make sure the driver fails, like, “He slid his hand from Point A to Point B on the steering wheel, TEN POINTS!” It’s simply not fair. If the DMV believes that once you hit the curb it’s an automatic failure, they should weigh the parallel parking with more points on the driver’s test.

Perhaps the most unfair part of the test is that the tester’s mood at that exact moment can be the deciding factor for whether you pass or fail. If your test is scheduled for three o’clock in the afternoon, the tester may be exhausted from jumping in and out of cars all day long; the last thing this fatigued tester wants to do is evaluate another nervous driver, so she’ll mark down every single thing to get out of the car as fast as she can. The tester’s mood could affect her judgment especially if she just exited the car of the week’s worst driver. Imagine the previous driver hit another car while three-point-turning, the tester is so frustrated, she will fail you even if you are the most cautious driver in world. Consider Janelle, who maneuvered well on her route and then performed a flawless parallel park, following the method her father drilled into her head, but yet, the tester failed her because she thought “Janelle didn’t use all the space provided to accurately park.”

However, if you are lucky, the tester’s exhaustion and busy day could lend itself positively towards success; if the tester is so desperate to get out of your car and go home, she might not pay close attention. Unfortunately, this scenario will most likely play out with failure though because let’s be real, when are the testers ever exhausted and in a giving mood? You can be as unfortunate as to have a tester get into your car after you ate a smelly tuna sandwich and she smells your breath and fails you for breathing - since breathing is necessary for life, you automatically fail.

Now here’s the icing on the cake – some testers simply fail everyone just because they don’t believe that sixteen or seventeen year old kids should be driving on the road alone. They have morals, understandable, but don’t punish these kids if they are ready for the responsibility simply because it goes against your beliefs.

Personally speaking, I failed my driver’s test for unjustifiable reasons. While reviewing my points sheet with my parents, I honestly could not recall the instances where my tester marked my “mistakes”. I know I’m not alone; my friends have experienced similiar things. With the surmounting evidence pointing out the flaws in the system, I have come to the conclusion that the DMV is a corrupt system and passing the driver’s test is as lucky as winning the lottery.

Here’s advice to all those taking their tests soon – you’re going to need to be the most paranoid kid in the entire world during your the test, make sure you are aware of all your surroundings, and you’re going to need all the luck in the world. Hopefully your tester is in a good mood, with a hearty breakfast or lunch in their stomach, and that your appointment is set at the precise time of the day when they are most content. If not, you may find yourself asking the question I’ve been pondering for weeks: Who needs a license anyway? Because I surely don’t, I can mooch off of my mother for the rest of my life.

Jordan Winch